The Power Of Vision.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have some supernatural aid that helps them to sail through life achieving one thing after the other, while on the other hand some are going round in circles never progressing? Advancement and success experts seem to agree with the Bible that vision plays a vital role in the progress and advancement of one’s life.

Talking about vision one might quickly think about the physical eyesight. Even though this kind of vision helps us a great deal in our everyday lives, there is a greater vision which we all ought to have regardless of whether we have the physical eyesight. Hellen Keller was an American author, activist and lecturer. She lost her sight, hearing and speech in the earlier years of her life. However, she grew to be a powerful and renowned author and lecturer. At one time she was asked what she thought could be the worst thing in life and she responded, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision”, and I believe this is true.

The Bible in Proverbs 29:11 (KJV) says “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” The Message Version puts it this way “If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed.” It is clear here that living with no vision has no advantage or privilege, rather it is detrimental. When one stumbles all over themselves it means they are hindering and deterring themselves from progressing. That person is his or her own set back.

Now what is vision? Dr Myles Monroe defined vision as “a mental picture of your future. It is the unveiling of God’s plan for your life”. The online dictionary defines vision as “the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination”. In both the definitions, two things are fundamental about vision; first is picture or imagination and second is future. A person is said to have a vision if they possess an image, picture or imagination of their ideal future. Easy as it sounds, you will be surprised that not many people actually have a vision.

Many people can tell you everything that they do not like in their life, but few can give details of the kind of life they would like to live, hence the reason why they stumble all over themselves as the Bible has said. Let us look at the power that a vision carries. Taking from the scripture we have read, if the absence of a vision causes one to stumble, then the presence of a vision enables one to move or progress! Vision has the power to drive a person forward. When you have a picture of the future, it draws you to itself. Vision energises us to rise up against the prevailing situation and reach towards that which we imagine and see in our hearts.

Vision motivates. A lot of times people are weighed down by prevailing circumstances, but with the presence of vision we get motivation to rise up again. This is kind of true as well with the physical sight. Have you noticed that if you are driving, your speed is at times influenced by how far you can see ahead of you. If you drive on a curve or in fog where the vision is limited, the environment causes you to slow down, in other words it limits us. However, when all of a sudden, the curve comes to an end or the fog clears and you can see well ahead of you, you automatically press harder on the accelerator because the vision is clear.

Vision is a source of hope. Hope is such a powerful force and as long as it is present, humans can endure almost anything. The question now arise how do we get the hope? When there is a vision it gives hope, it inspires a sense of expectation because the gaze or focus is not in the now but in the expected future. Vision removes our focus from the temporary setbacks and challenges and focus on the bigger picture and the desired outcome.

Vision gives courage and perseverance. With a picture of the desired outcome in mind, armed with hope for a change, we can surely be courageous to persevere in any situation. The Bible in Hebrews 12:2 (paraphrased) tells us that what caused Jesus to be courageous to face the death of the cross and what caused him to persevere in all the suffering that he went through was because he saw the joy that was to come after.

Vision gives direction to life. The direction that anyone takes as they leave their home for any journey is usually influenced by the intended destination of that journey. A vision serves as a destination to which we work towards, and this helps us to choose the right direction for it. There are so many options and choices in life such that if there is no guiding vision, one can literally waste their life strolling and wandering through the many options. A good example would be a student in college: there are a wide range of courses and programs that are offered in colleges, but, what the student will choose to study is directed by the vision they have, that is who they would like to become after the studies.

Vision is powerful and everyone who desires to have a meaningful and satisfying life experience should have one. It may seem trivial and unimportant, but I encourage you today to prayerfully think about your vision. Who do you want to be in the next five years or ten years? Visualise that ideal and take it as your vision.

Joseph Dhlakama

Three Healthy ways to deal with Offences.

There are some things in life which we can never run away from, the best thing we can do for such is to arm ourselves with the tools and knowledge on how to handle them. One of these things is offences. No matter how much we can try to avoid them or to pray them away offences will always find their way into our lives. Jesus in Luke 17:1(NIV) said, “It is impossible that no offences should come, but woe to him through whom they do come”! This is from the mouth of Jesus the son of God; our master and saviour Himself warned us that offences are inevitable in life. The big question then, is how do we deal with them?

1.     Forgive

The starting place is that one should learn to “forgive”. Forgiveness is the bedrock on which every other method of dealing with offences should stand upon. If one is not willing to forgive, they will see that they can only deal with conflict and offences superficially, but the matter will still be affecting them deep in their heart, and this is not a healthy way to live. Therefore, decide now to be a forgiving person. Life is all about forgiving and being forgiven and this must be a lifestyle.

At one point Jesus The Great Teacher was asked a question on how often an individual can be forgiven. Let’s check out his response in Matthew 18: 21-22 (NIV) “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. Do you see how many times we must be willing to forgive one person? Yes, be willing and be ready to forgive those who offend you.

2.     Overlook

The second healthy way to deal with offences is to “overlook”. To overlook means to pass over without giving due attention. Offences usually take a hold of one's attention thereby generating all kinds of feelings. We often see that the power and sting of an offence lies in the attention it is given. If it is not given too much attention it loses its sting and can naturally diffuse or can be diffused with little effort.

I noticed something with my children when they were still babies, whenever they tripped and fell and no body seemed to notice it, they would just rise and continue with their play. However, if the same incident happened whilst an adult was watching and sympathizing, they would cry and feel more emotional. The same is often true of some other babies I have observed. Granted, this is not always the case, but in those few instances it seems that the pain intensity is contributed by the attention that the situation is given.

Of course, offences are not a little trip and fall of a baby, but the issue here is this; not every incident is worthy of your attention. We need to weigh the matters and overlook somethings. Not every disagreement, conflict or offence deserves your attention, allow somethings just to pass. Reserve your efforts and strength for weightier matters.

Hear what the Bible says about this matter. First let us read Proverbs 19:11 (NIV); “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” This shows that it is good for you and me to learn to overlook some offences.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22(NIV) says, “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others”. Here the scripture reminds us that we ourselves have offended others as well, therefore we must learn to overlook when we are offended also. Some use the phrase “make a big fuss” about everything which means any tiny offence will be escalated.

One very healthy way of living is keeping everything, including conflict and offences, in their proper perspective, - trivialising what is trivial and attending to what really needs our attention. When we are young everything gets our attention, and we are fascinated by every small thing, but with maturity our focus is more directed to what is important. Science has proven that the eyesight of infants is very detailed even to the distinguishing between two different monkeys. Adults cannot do this because as we grow our senses begin to generalise other things and can only concentrate and attend to matters of value.

3.     Make peace

The third healthy way to deal with offences is to “make peace”. The Bible in Romans 12:18-19 (NIV) says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, “says the Lord”. The encouragement here is that as much as we have opportunity, we should do our best to make and promote peace.

It is important that whenever we see ourselves in conflict with others, we should be decisive on the outcome that we would like to see as we deal with the conflict at hand. What do you value the most in a time of conflict? Is it winning an argument or maintaining peace and harmony? Some people go all out just to win an argument without any care for peace, but we need to focus on what is really important and that is maintaining peace. This is made possible by engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion about the matter. If there is need a mediator can be involved to facilitate the discussion.

It is one thing to argue and fight about a matter and it is another thing to discuss the same matter reasonably and constructively with the goal of promoting peace, and harmony. Remember the teaching of Jesus in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the peace makers for they will be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9 (NIV). Therefore, be peace minded when you engage in resolving or addressing any kind of conflict and offence.

Joseph Dhlakama.

Emotions in Resolving conflict.

One of the biggest contributors to escalating conflict is uncontrolled emotions. Emotions are defined as feelings that are prompted by one’s circumstances. These feelings are intuitive and they are not based on reasoning or knowledge. Emotions are normal and natural however they need to be kept in check because they can easily run amok. The Bible in Proverbs 15:18 (AMP) “A hot tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger and patient calms disputes.” And the message version puts it this way “Hot tempers start fights, a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.” When emotions are left uncontrolled, they can easily cause fires but when managed and controlled then peace can be maintained.

When talking about emotions and conflict or tension I remember a scenario that happened to me. One morning we called a plumber to come and attend something at our home that wasn’t working properly. As soon as I opened the door to welcome the gentleman, I noticed that the man was not delighted in what he was doing. I greeted him and he didn’t respond back rather he straight away asked what is it that needed to be done. I led him in and showed him the place but already in me I was getting agitated because the man had not wanted to greet me, also he was speaking in a rough way using words that I am not comfortable with as we walked into the house.

When I showed him the place where he had to attend, there was some stuff that needed to be moved before he started work. So, he commanded me in a rough way to remove the stuff and this got me more agitated. I was about to rebuke him sharply for his behaviour and attitude when I remembered that earlier in my morning devotion, I was reading about the beatitudes in Matthew chapter five so I tried to hold my peace. A lot of things were going on in my mind and my heart was beating fast I was really disturbed. However, I managed to quickly remove the stuff he wanted removed and I went into a separate space and started singing some worship song. He kept working and shouting by himself but after a while he was quiet. I went to him as he was concluding his work and he was much softer and by the time he left it was all smiles and cheerfulness.

I always think what could have happened if I had not restrained myself on this event, if I had spoken to him sharply as I felt like doing when he was speaking to me disrespectfully in my house. Definitely his day and my day were going to be both ruined if I had followed my feelings but by the help of God, I managed to control my emotions and the tension was diffused in no time such that the time he left he was cheerful and even wished me a great day. The Bible says in Proverbs 16:32 KJV “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” That phrase “ruling his spirit” means controlling emotions and exercising self-restraint.

It is apparent that when our emotions speak louder than our reasoning, if we heed to emotions and ignore the voice of reason, we are prone to respond or react unreasonably. There is no doubt that when we are in conflict or in intense moments like what I was in that morning there are several voices that will be speaking to us all at once. The voice of emotions, the voice of reasoning and the voice of the trigger. Many a times the voice of emotions gains the upper hand because it appeals more to our ego and the present urge to address or respond.

However, scripture tells us that if one cannot control their temper or if they cannot silence or mute the voice of emotions then it will be fireworks all the way.

The scripture has said “Hot tempers starts fight”, uncontrolled emotions cause conflict to escalate so we all need to learn to control our temper we need to learn to silence the voice of emotions especially in conflict.

Learn to listen to the inner small voice, the voice of reason, the voice of God. There are different ways one can deploy in order to stay sober even in conflict. One can choose to walk away from the scene of conflict in a peaceful and respectful manner, one can pep talk themselves to calm down and be reasonable or you can pray and worship God. Whichever way you choose or you do make use of it to take control of the emotions. When emotions are not controlled, they may cause one to act unreasonably or speak unreasonably which they will regret later.

Be calm, be cool that way you will bring peace into the situation. You can only bring peace into the situation if you are at peace. Remember “A hot tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger and patient calms disputes”.

God bless you.

Joseph Dhlakama

Voice Tone plays Key Role in Conflict Resolution.

Answer Gently.

Conflict and disagreement is certainly inevitable in relationships. This is apparent in all kinds of relationships be it husband and wife, parent and children, supervisor and subordinate, between siblings and also between work colleagues. These conflicts are often triggered by a wide range of stimulus some of then trivial and some are genuine concerns which needs to be fixed or addressed. Whatever the cause of the conflict, there is a way of handling conflict and disagreement that can lead to more disagreement and even strife, but there is also a way of dealing with conflict that makes it easy to resolve the conflict.

 One such way is the use of gentle responses. The Bible in Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)says “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The Message version puts it this way “A gentle response defuses anger but a sharp tongue kindles temper fire.” I like the word defuse used in the message version. It means to reduce tension to deescalate or to prevent something from exploding. It is apparent that in conflict or disagreement you can feel the tension or the anger but there is a way to defuse and to pacify it and that is by use of gentle responses.

 Communication especially during conflict is not just about saying the right things, but it matters most how you say them. The tone of voice you use in relaying the information is crucial. Professor Albert Mehrabian came up with a 7-38-55 rule. This rule suggests that Communication is 7% words,38% tone of voice and 55% body gestures. We see here that tone has a key part to play.

 Did you know that a word changes meaning depending with the tone it is spoken with, that is interesting isn’t it? The right words spoken with a wrong tone sends a different message altogether so the next time you are in a conflict or an argument take note of your tone of voice, try your level best to speak gently. A study was done in 2015 by the University of Southern California that examined hundreds of conversations from over 100 couples and it was proven that the ability to watch your tone may be a key indicator of your relationship success.

 Voice tone is made up of the pitch, the pace and the volume. So when you are in conflict mind these things; maintain a moderate pitch of voice, lower the volume and speak with a normal pace. This will diffuse the anger and tension. An urge to speak very fast and louder than normal will be strong during conflict and disagreements however hold the temper and always respond gently.

Remember “A gentle response defuses anger but a sharp tongue kindles temper fire.”

Joseph Dhlakama.

Preparation is Key so Prepare Hard.

Have you heard the statement “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”? This means that when one does not intentionally take time to prepare for a desired outcome then they are unknowingly preparing for the opposite which is usually failure. It is very unfortunate that many people live their lives unknowingly preparing to fail, but there is a way to get better results in one’s life, there is a proven formular to achieving success in the endeavours of life. This secret is “preparing hard” not just a menial, wishy washy preparation but a hard intentional and focused preparation.

Let us look at the example of great athletes. Those that are always on the front pages of magazines and newspapers, those that we usually gather for in the coliseums to watch. They are even mentioned in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 9:24- 25 (The Message Version) says “You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athlete’s race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.”

Did you notice that “All good athletes train hard”, or we can put it another way all good athletes prepare hard? They are focused and they are intentional to take up trainings and disciplines all in preparation for tournaments that will be probably months if not years away. The next time you see your favourite athlete performing remember that they are not just trying out stuff for the first time in the court or pitch but they have been preparing hard well before that day. Be it Novak Djokovic or Serena Williams in Tennis or Ronaldo in soccer or Usain Bolt the sprinter, whoever athlete you can think of, they all invest lots of time, effort and resources preparing for the day of competition.

Usually, the time taken to prepare is more than the time taken to perform, but if anyone intends to perform exceptionally, I mean performing in order to win as the scripture says then they must practice or prepare much harder. They play the game alone first before they come to play with the opponent.

The encouragement and the lesson here is this, if we focus our attention and prepare really hard, we can set ourselves up for big achievements in life. The discipline that is needed is to overcome present pleasures and pains and focus on working towards a desired result. Just like the athlete, their diet is restricted and well managed we too need to let go of those time killing and energy consuming pleasures and focus on preparation. We need to ignore the pains and discomfort of training and keep disciplined in training and preparation.

So, then where do I start? First one must know what results they want to see or the goal that they would like to achieve. It is highly recommended that this be written down clearly. Then secondly establish and document what is needed to achieve that goal. Third and last work towards it regardless. Can I conclude with a question to you, how hard are you preparing for the success of your business, how hard are you preparing for a successful career, how hard are you preparing for your exams and how hard are you preparing for a blissful relationship? If you are serious about winning in life then prepare hard and train like an athlete, train hard prepare hard and the results will show.

Joseph Dhlakama.

Power of Expectation

A life with no expectation can easily deteriorate into a dull and meaningless life. What is the purpose for living if there is nothing to look forward to? I am one of those people who are kept going by always looking forward to something, be it just another wonderful day or an event, a meeting, a promise being fulfilled or a dream being accomplished. I strongly believe that expectation is a strong driving force which we must not lose in life.

Expectation is the fuel by which all human beings are driven, once it is gone life loses excitement. Without expectation there is no enthusiasm and without enthusiasm people just settle where ever they are and hence no progress. It is expectation of victory that energises the soldier to go into war even if they know that death is less than an inch away, it is expectation of a harvest that causes the farmer to invest quality seeds and precious time into the dry ground under a scorching sun. It is also expectation of giving birth to a healthy and joy bringing baby that causes a woman to endure nine months of discomfort pain and even unusual diet. This is the power of expectation.

The Bible says in Micah 7:7 (The Message Bible) “But me, I’m not giving up.  I’m sticking around to see what God will do. I’m waiting for God to make things right. I’m counting on God to listen to me.” These are confessions of an expectant person. I am not giving up!! What an attitude. Can I pause here and ask you a question, what are you about to give up right now in your life? Is it a business venture that is not performing well? Is it a marriage relationship? Whatever it is may you speak the same words with prophet Micah saying “….. I’m not giving up.  I’m sticking around to see what God will do. I’m waiting for God to make things right” Stick around and stick at it, continue working on it with EXPECTATION! Expect the best outcome.

Remember the examples I mentioned earlier on of the farmer, the soldier and the pregnant woman. Their expectation does not necessarily remove the present pains and discomforts, but what it does is to give them the strength to endure and eventually overcome the unpleasant situations. THAT IS THE POWER OF EXPECTATION. It energises you to go through the rough seasons which could drown you had there not been the presence of an expectation.

As we sail through the life, sail with an expectation to accomplish, an expectation to win and an expectation to achieve and an expectation of the best. Expect each day to bring about good in your life, always expect the best and you will be energised to reach out for it.

By Joseph Dhlakama