Voice Tone plays Key Role in Conflict Resolution.
Answer Gently.
Conflict and disagreement is certainly inevitable in relationships. This is apparent in all kinds of relationships be it husband and wife, parent and children, supervisor and subordinate, between siblings and also between work colleagues. These conflicts are often triggered by a wide range of stimulus some of then trivial and some are genuine concerns which needs to be fixed or addressed. Whatever the cause of the conflict, there is a way of handling conflict and disagreement that can lead to more disagreement and even strife, but there is also a way of dealing with conflict that makes it easy to resolve the conflict.
One such way is the use of gentle responses. The Bible in Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)says “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The Message version puts it this way “A gentle response defuses anger but a sharp tongue kindles temper fire.” I like the word defuse used in the message version. It means to reduce tension to deescalate or to prevent something from exploding. It is apparent that in conflict or disagreement you can feel the tension or the anger but there is a way to defuse and to pacify it and that is by use of gentle responses.
Communication especially during conflict is not just about saying the right things, but it matters most how you say them. The tone of voice you use in relaying the information is crucial. Professor Albert Mehrabian came up with a 7-38-55 rule. This rule suggests that Communication is 7% words,38% tone of voice and 55% body gestures. We see here that tone has a key part to play.
Did you know that a word changes meaning depending with the tone it is spoken with, that is interesting isn’t it? The right words spoken with a wrong tone sends a different message altogether so the next time you are in a conflict or an argument take note of your tone of voice, try your level best to speak gently. A study was done in 2015 by the University of Southern California that examined hundreds of conversations from over 100 couples and it was proven that the ability to watch your tone may be a key indicator of your relationship success.
Voice tone is made up of the pitch, the pace and the volume. So when you are in conflict mind these things; maintain a moderate pitch of voice, lower the volume and speak with a normal pace. This will diffuse the anger and tension. An urge to speak very fast and louder than normal will be strong during conflict and disagreements however hold the temper and always respond gently.
Remember “A gentle response defuses anger but a sharp tongue kindles temper fire.”
Joseph Dhlakama.
